Archive for April, 2010


Thursday, April 29th, 2010

What do you do when the person you love, is posting on a social networking site about you things that aren’t true? Basically, that he’s giving his all, and that I’m not giving back… what he’s not revealing is that he’s stopped talking to me, that he’s leaving me high and dry (as of this moment, I’m in a great deal of pain, wanted to go to the chiropractor, and he just LEFT), and he doesn’t tell me shit. But, if he were to post it on Facebook, it would be totally one sided.

It’s not fair, and people are taking sides without hearing both sides. Without hearing the truth or even part of the truth.

To be fair, he’s on-call for his job, but it doesn’t take 5 seconds for him to let me know he has a call and can’t take me to the chiropractor, but he didn’t do that… that’s just plain rude in my opinion. Am I wrong?

Now, he says he was just right outside… that he had work to do, but it sure sounded like he left, but I didn’t hear him say anything… he sure didn’t get my attention.

The USS Constellation wants you!

Tuesday, April 27th, 2010

I’ve got a new hobby… okay, maybe not quite so new… I’ve not posted it here though.

I’m the Executive Officer of the USS Constellation, a Star Trek based RPG. Set in the time around Voyager, but we are exploring the GAMMA Quadrant, (compared to the USS Voyager exploring the Delta Quadrant), You are an officer aboard the USS Constellation, a Constellation class (what else?) starship. It’s an online RPG, with ‘posts’ which are stories done by the members of the crew.

It’s different in that the stories aren’t just written by one person, you are your character, and any mission post that is written, that uses your character, you are involved in. For example, Cmdr. Anna Tuttle, (my character), will interact with the various crew, but most notably with the Commanding Officer, Captain Tersus Aram, a Bajoran. Now, when we work on a story, and we have a basic idea (sometimes), and we go back and forth with each paragraph. Sometimes the results can be hilarious. I have a story that I am working on with the Captain, the Chief Engineer, and the head of our Marines, in our Officers Mess. Anna is trying to get the replicator to make a simple combination pizza. What came out of the replicator was um, interesting.

Anyway, in the course of the story, she suddenly has a ‘DATE’ with the Chief Engineer in his quarters as he makes a combination pizza to scan in to replace the corrupted computer file. THAT I did not see coming.

The USS Constellation is an independent RPG, not belonging to Starfleet International (where I, in another persona, command the USS Daniel Soule). We are not part of, (we just host the website there).

The Captain and I are partners in this – we run the sim and talk EVERYTHING over… which can be hard when you want to do something and surprise the other.  It’s a lot of fun, and a lot of work, but you can’t just sit around and expect fun to happen.

We have very few rules.

Our major rules are that you must post once every 7 days, and that any posts other than yourself are to be done with the others and not just alone.

The rules are simple and posted directly on the website.

If you would like to apply, please check us out at:

Stupid injuries…

Monday, April 26th, 2010

I’m ending month number 3 with a injured right rotator cuff. I bruised it, and when I move, it hurts a lot. And I’m not taking narcotics much anymore… I’m taking morphine and Norco for the pain, although, the UW Pain Clinic wants me to cut out the Norco and then wants me to cut out the Morphine and just continue with the Amitriptiline. I don’t think that’s going to happen.

Well, my next appointment is in the middle of May. We’ll just have to see what happens.

Getting ready for a Landing Party!!!

Wednesday, April 21st, 2010

This weekend is the Starfleet Region Five Conference, the first that Rear Admiral Keith Marshall and I, Fleet Captain Dana Marshall have attended in our twenty-five years of being members of Starfleet. I’m pretty excited. I’m working on not just attending the conference, but also presenting to the Regional Coordinator, the duties of the Regional Disabled Accessibility Officer that I am trying to get added to the Regional Staff. He likes the basic idea, but I haven’t been real specific as to what the positition entails, just someone for the Commanding Officers of Starfleet Region 5 to go to when they have questions in regards to disabled crewmembers.I’ve been thinking of this position for awhile now, but haven’t approached Fleet Captain Joe Fuller (the Regional Coordinator) with the idea until recently. He said to write him up the description and we’d discuss it, and discussing it at the Regional Conference seems to be the thing to do, so… I’m going to be bringing it up to him there.


Monday, April 19th, 2010

Or more specifically, my man! I’ve been married almost 19 years. And as the years go by, I understand him less and less. Right now, he’s seems to think I’m asking more and more of him and I’m not. He posted the following on his Facebook page, “What do you do when you have given all you have to someone and all they want, no, expect, is more? What more is there then everything?” He is talking about his feelings that I am asking for more than normal… and I’m not. Beng physically disabled, I do require some help, but I only asked him to pick up some things from the store today, which included some items we ran out of on FRIDAY, and he said he was going to pick up on Saturday, but this is late Monday/early Tuesday before he picked them up. it was mainly the Gatorade that I wanted so I had something to drink because he ran out of something to drink too, and I had a limited amount to drink, and Keith decided to grab one of my bottles of Gatorade to drink. I buy the powdered Gatorade, and mix it at home. Keith prefers to drink diet soda. Well, and like I said above, he ran out of soda to drink so he grabbed one of my bottles of Gatorade, even though I was low. And then he grumbled when I asked him (ASKED him), to pick up more Gatorade when he went to the store this afternoon. He acted like I was asking for the sun and the moon. And I wasn’t. He started a week-long vacation, and spent the entire day sleeping. it’s not like I asked him to do anything today, but he just decided to take it out on me. <shakes head> And I know if I ask him to go to counseling, he’s going to refuse.

Games? NOT!

Monday, April 19th, 2010

On Facebook, there are a lot of games that I play. A lot of these games got me introduced to the friends I have over there. One of the ones that I am most addicted to, Mafia Wars, also has groups, Mafias, of which I am a member of one, Road to Respect.

I’ve been a member of [RTR] almost from the beginning. The group had an Admin Team consisting of the Godfather, Godmother, various other people, and a “gifting” person, who would hold all the items that people would give her or that she would find and “gift” them out to the members of the group.

I had connections with another Mafia Wars player, and was able to get from Rebel, for one piece of Loot, 200 pieces of a really nice weapon. I would gift these weapons to the gifting person, Susan Bishop. Well, others would do so as well, and she was supposed to give them to our fighters to help them win fights and become strong so we wouldn’t have bullies bothering our non-fighters.Susan didn’t do that. She took all this loot and just laughed at us when she was finally asked for it. She merrily went on her way, and basically screwed us all over. I took up the job of gifting angel with gusto… Marwan said he couldn’t make me an admin because of the WoMW, which I quit. Then I heard nothing from him.And then, we had a new godfather, and any promises went out the window. I feel like I’ve been royally screwed.This happened over the last few months. Now we get to the last few weeks.Several of the RTR admin break off and start their own group after Marwan leaves. I am thinking of quitting RTR and joining this new group, and I post a message on the RTR message board expressing these concerns. I leave email for Karen Duke that I want to chat with her, and the next day Karen and I chat and she says she promised Rob (the Godfather of RTR) that she wouldn’t take any members from RTR into her new group.

I then receive an email from Rob telling me that if I have doubts about staying in RTR that I should just leave. Not an email asking me what’s wrong, and is there anyway that he can help, but if I have doubts, that I need to leave.What kind of person, not to mention the leader of a large group of people (RTR has over 3000 members) doesn’t ask questions, just tells you to leave without asking what’s wrong and why are you thinking of leaving a group you’ve been a member of for over a year? My doubts about staying in RTR are about double now, but I don’t want to leave a group where I have friends, and that if I posted this to the message board, it’d get erased, and I’d find myself out of RTR. Yes, I’m not sure I want to stay there, but I want it to be MY decision, not the decision of a Godfather with insecurities!!!

That’s also why I’m posting this here, instead of on Facebook. There’s not enough room to post something this long on Facebook, and I wanted to get my thoughts down and more organized.I’m so glad I found the blog that my webpage provider has – and this was AFTER I started my WordPress account… so yes, you will see me post about things on here relatively regularly… Facebook doesn’t have the room that I’ll need… I get really wordy at times.

Searching for the Blog!!!

Monday, April 19th, 2010

Sheesh! I restarted the blog, then couldn’t find the bookmark so I could add posts to it! I finally just sat down at the computer today, and typed in some word into Google Chrome and it came up! THAT was a shock! I’ve bookmarked it, and now I’m going to add this blog to my Facebook page, so I won’t lose it again! Ever! One of those fun things you deal with when you can’t remember stuff due to disability. Now that I’ve found the blog again, I’ll probably be posting on it several times a day, especially since I’ll have it linked to my Facebook page, which is pretty popular! <grin> Thanks to Mafia Wars and the other games I play. Facebook is great, It’s just not good for when you want to expand on something – a short blurb is fine, but not when you want to expound on something which I frequently want to do.

A new start

Thursday, April 8th, 2010

I’ve decided to retire my companion of 6 years, my service dog, Chewbacca, who I call “Chewie”. I was at Norwescon on Saturday, and Chewie told me in the only way he knew how, that he was ready to stop working. He’s always gone under tables when I’ve stopped my wheelchair to talk to somebody but this is the first time he’s had to be DRAGGED out from under the table so we could go somewhere else.

He just wasn’t listening. It was pretty darn clear what his message was to me. He hasn’t really felt comfortable going into places with me. He loves to go out with me, there’s no doubt about that… leave him home and he’ll find a way to get out. But, going into places, he hides under my wheelchair and gets away from people who only want to say ‘hi’.

This all comes from the fact that for the first year of his life, his previous owner kept him in the backyard with only his sister for company. No socialization with other people or other dogs. I’m not sure how much time the family spent with Chewie either. Probably not a whole lot, judging from his behavior. I’ve had to fight this from Day 1, but usually Chewie will drop into a ‘down’ next to my wheelchair, or if he does go under a table, he’ll come out when I tell him to, and not have to be dragged out. It was embarrassing, and it didn’t just happen once, it happened all day. Since dogs can’t talk, this was the only way Chewie could let me know he couldn’t go out in public anymore.

I only go to two conventions a year, Rustycon, which happens the third weekend of January, and Norwescon, which happens Easter weekend, but this year, Keith is the Vice Regional Coordinator for Region 5, Starfleet, and the Regional Conference is something that we are going to be attending. Chewie would just freak out there. So, with a heavy heart, I’m giving him to a high school friend of Keith’s.

As we were driving home from Norwescon, I started praying. I asked God for help with Chewie. I left it very broad and very open.

The next day, I was on Yahoo Messenger, with a new friend, the Marine CO for the USS Constellation RPG that I am the XO for. I told him what had happened with Chewie and that I was thinking of retiring Chewie. J’Yan told me very bluntly that if I was thinking of doing it, to do it. Don’t second guess myself.  About that time, I went into the other room to talk to Keith about what happened, and he made the comment that another friend of ours that was at Norwescon, Mike, told Keith, that he’d take Chewie when he could no longer work. That’s what cinched it for me. He mentioned to Keith that he liked Chewie a lot and that he’d take Chewie when I retired him. I’m pretty upset about the whole thing. Yes, it’s my decision, but to decide to retire a companion after 6 years of having been with you 24/7, is really hard. I posted on Facebook that I was going to retire Chewie because of what happened at the convention, and everyone was really supportive on the message board, but when I’d get into chat, people kept picking at me, wondering why I was retiring Chewie, and doing it on the sayso of a man (J’Yan) that I’d just met.

I wasn’t doing it because J’Yan told me to do so, I was doing it because it was right. J’Yan, who has raised dogs all his life just confirmed it, and Two, I can’t keep Chewie and then try to train a 2nd dog to be a service dog. I tried that when I had Gillis. Gillis would not allow Chewie to do anything. I had to give Gillis up to his breeder. I know the score. Once a service dog, always a service dog.

Chewie will love being with Mike and his family. There are other dogs there. Chewie and I will get to visit each other (after a breaking in period of a few weeks), and I hopefully will be able to find a Doberman breeder who’ll give or sell me a puppy.<p>I still remember Gillis, my service dog before Chewie, he was something else… my service dog of my dreams. I didn’t choose him, he chose me!

Anyway, I am going to start to look for a puppy starting May 1st.

Here’s hoping I can find one soon!