Archive for July 4th, 2010

July 4th and Inlaws

Sunday, July 4th, 2010

Here it is July 4th, and we’re heading to the Father In Laws. I am NOT looking forward to the visit. For the last 18 years, I have had to stay home because his WIFE, has ISSUES with big dogs. WEll, my 2nd Service Dog, Gillis, a Doberman, was smaller than their mini poodle when we went over there while Gillis was a puppy and she freaked out… and this was after she said she had “issues” with BIG dogs. Yeah, right.

So, now, no dog, and my husband says I now can go over there…he goes every year without me (with my blessing), so we’ll see how it goes, and see how long it takes before someone comments on how nice it is to see me with no dog, or I should have come and left the dog, etc, etc. Any anti dog comments and I am out of there. I know they will come… having dealt with her family for 18 years… yep, they will come.

We’ll just have to see how I’m feeling, whether I am nice or not when the comments come. I may decide to just say, “To hell with it” and tell Sheri what she can do with her “phobia”. I’ve had to “deal” with my CP, and she can deal with her dog phobia by getting over it. I will not be segregated from the family because she can’t deal with my dog… it’s like telling me I can’t bring my wheelchair. And it’s wrong.

Posted in Disability, Disability Issues, Family, Personal, Real Life, Service Dogs | 112 Comments »

Love, Life and Marriage

Sunday, July 4th, 2010

(Yes, I know this is late… but I had to write up Gillis’s entry, and it took me awhile. But here’s the entry I meant to post way back on our anniversary.)

It’s June 24, 2010, and on June 22nd, Keith and I celebrated our 19th years of marriage to each other. Wow, an amazing accomplishment that. The way the world is going today, most people are divorced and onto their 2nd or third marriages. But, Keith and I came from a time where you married once and stayed married, and worked out your problems.

Do Keith and I have problems? Yes, but I love him with all my heart, and any problems we have are nothing we can’t work out.. we have been to counseling, and if need be, we’ll go in the future. Talking about your problems is always the best thing to do when you can’t seem to solve them on your own. Having a 3rd person listen to them and give you suggestions on how to deal with them, can only help you… kind of like having a 2nd opinion when you go to the doctor.

But, Keith and I love each other deeply. We were married on June 22, 1991, after almost 6 years of dating. We didn’t rush into marriage. Keith had to learn to deal with a person with a disability, and I had to learn to deal with a guy that wasn’t going to walk away because he couldn’t deal with my disability.

Keith and I have to laugh… because when he proposed, it wasn’t the normal, “Will you marry me?” and then my response. It was more like:

Keith: “Will you marry…”

Dana: “Yes!”

Keith: “Me.”

I guess I was just a tad bit enthusiastic and impatient back then. Can’t accuse me of that now, tho. (Okay, guys stop laughing! (Yes, I”m talking to you, Keith and Robin! Sheesh!)

It was also VERY cold at the lake where Keith took me – what can I say, the guy is a closet romantic! It was also November, or something like that… I’m not sure what month Keith proposed… but like most of my friends know, the drugs I take for my pain and all that, mess with my memory and certain things have not ‘stuck’ in my memory… but the important stuff has…

We do not have children. It’s not for lack of trying. We did try, but due to my disability, sexual intercourse is difficult for me, and I have other issues. I was sexually molested when I was 9 years old and that has left scars that are barely healed. The neighbor that did that was never punished for it, I was just told by my parents to never go around the man again – alone. But that can still mess you up for life. Sexual activity is not comfortable for me physically and mentally, it is ‘interesting’, and that’s all I’m going to say, except that with the help of my husband and talking to various counselors, I no longer view sex as the dirty act I once did view it as.

And adoption, while friends meant well when they suggested it, they didn’t realize that adoption agencies take a dim view of the disabled as adoptive parents. The agencies would NEVER say this to anyone – that would be discrimination, but I knew it was happening, The ironic thing is, I am adopted as is my “brother”. No, we are not blood brother and sister, but we share a deeper bond. But, adoption agencies have waiting lists of YEARS of non-disabled (healthy) couples waiting to adopt.

And even if I didn’t have the mental block of having been molested when I was nine, or the fact that my parents never pushed to file charges against this individual, even after they found out he was a sexual predator, and had done this before… I don’t know what my parents were thinking… I can’t ask my mother, which is where I got all this information from. She died several years ago due to complications from Alzheimer’s, and my father never knew what was going on, as far as I know, and I am NOT going to ask him.


But, if I hear of my molester coming near this area of the Pacific Northwest, I will call the police. This is one of those times I wish I had a service dog. No, my dogs are not trained in protection… but there aren’t many people that are going to challenge a person with a barking, growling dog at the end of the leash. ALL my dogs are taught that much in personal protection, and no, it’s not going against the ADA…

A service dog is allowed to be trained in personal protection. I will be filling out some information for my service dog site in the next few weeks now that I again have access to an HTML program. One of the things will be a description of things you can train your dog to do for you… and personal protection is a valid task under the ADA. Please see this blog entry for the story of Gillis.

I’ll be adding more to a service dog blog entry… I love to teach in my blogs.

Posted in Family, Personal, Real Life | 112 Comments »

My 2nd Service Dog, Gillis

Sunday, July 4th, 2010

(CURRENTLY being edited – please check back often for updates)

A week after I gave Tyler back to his trainer, I was at dog training to meet friends. A woman was there with a male Doberman Pincher. A BIG Doberman. Now, I don’t like Dobermans, I thought they were dangerous, I bought into all the breed stereotypes.

Well, this male Doberman, Warlock, decided that I needed to learn differently, so he came up to me and started pressing his nose against my breastbone. After doing it a few times, he’d look at me expectantly. Julie spoke up before I could ask. “He wants you to pet him.” OH… well, okay. So, I started to very gently pet Warlock. Well, that wasn’t what he had in mind. Warlock wanted me to really pet him. So, I did.. and fell in love with him. This dog was a marshmellow, or so I thought. Julie said he was protection trained. This big marshmallow dog was protection trained? Julie asked if I wanted a demonstration. I did, and so she took Warlock and Larry, who all the clients call “Uncle Larry” for the “attacker”.

Larry moved toward Julie, and she told Warlock the command and he stood in front of her and started barking and lunging at Larry to the end of his leash. Then Julie gave him his “release” word and Warlock wanted more ‘pets’ from me. I had to just blink several times as this dog could and did turn off the ‘protection’ thing like it was a switch. It was VERY cool.

Then Dana Babb, the owner of Paws-Abilities, told Julie that I was between service dogs as I had just given up Tyler. She said she had a litter of puppies on the ground and did I want one? I was shocked! This woman had only met me that day, didn’t know anything about me, and here she was offering me a puppy from one of her protection dog lines and they can bring in THOUSANDS of dollars. I was incredibly touched. I said yes, of course.

I didn’t know how to choose a puppy, so I asked Dana to come with me to choose a puppy (although, at the time, I didn’t know I wouldn’t need her). Keith, Dana and I drove up the Julie’s place, which sat on the Canadian border. When we got there, all the six week old puppies came and said “hi” and wandered off, except forf one, who proceeded to untie my shoes. I tied both shoes. He untied one shoe, and I retied it, he untied the other shoe, and I retied it, and we went back and forth, with me retying one shoe and the puppy untying the other. Finally, the puppy got tired of that game so he started chewing on my crutch tips. Then being a six week old puppy, he got tired and fell asleep. ON my crutches. Dana and I were VASTLY amused.

This puppy was also the best built of the litter, so I chose him. Keith came up with the name of Gillis, so I could introduce him, “This is my Dobie, Gillis! in honor of the 1950′s TV show, the many loves of Dobie Gillis starring Bob Denver, who would later star as Gilligan in Gilligan’s Island.

Gillis proved to be the most amazing dog to train! He picked up things so quickly! At the age of 4 months he was picking up things off the floor, I took him out in public and because he didn’t do anything for me at that point, I still had to ask businesses if I could bring him in with me. But at the age of four months, he picked up a pill bottle off the floor that I dropped in a store, so then he became a service dog in training, so I no longer had to ask if I could bring him into public places. I took the Puppy in Training patch off his cape and put a backpack on him with “Service Dog in Training” on it and starting exposing him to anything and everything.

One day, we were visiting friends, and they had a cat. A cat that did NOT like dogs. Gillis had never encountered a cat so he went up to the cat to make friends, and the cat reached out and whapped Gillis across the nose with her paw. Gillis thought this was great fun, because the cat was declawed so he kept bouncing around the cat trying to get it to play with him, and the cat kept hitting Gillis across the nose and could not figure out why this stupid dog was NOT getting the message! Finally, the cat just ran up a tree. Gillis tried to follow, but he was on a leash, and I took pity on the cat and kept Gillis at my side. Gillis gave me such a look, “But Mom! I was having FUN!”

One of the things I find funny with Gillis is that one of the tasks that I train a service dog for is personal protection. Now that doesn’t mean the service dog attacks another person. No, that means the dog barks and growls and ACTS like he’s going to do so. No one in their right mind is going to challenge a dog that looks like he’s out of control especially when the handler holds a tight leash and is yelling at their dog, “Bruno, relax, bruno Relax!” which in some instances is a command for a dog to keep barking, but the person on the wrong end of the leash doesn’t know that! It’s hilarious to watch when you’re not being confronted with it… but then again there have been times I’ve had to school my face to keep from laughing when someone gets too pushy and I have to “restrain” my dog while he’s barking with that command.

Posted in Disability, Disability Issues, Service Dogs | 105 Comments »