Archive for the ‘Facebook’ Category

Queen Elizabeth proclaims new rules to US!

Wednesday, April 11th, 2012

This was posted to Facebook and there are many of my friends that are not on Facebook, so I thought I would share this. Thanks to Steve Hatton who shared RJ Renner’s photo of Queen Elizabeth II.

To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II

In light of your failure in recent years to nominate competent candidates for President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately.

(You should look up ‘revocation’ in the Oxford English Dictionary.)

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except Kansas, which she does not fancy).

Your new Prime Minister, David Cameron , will appoint a Governor for America without the need for further elections.

Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

1. The letter ‘U’ will be reinstated in words such as ‘colour,’ ‘favour,’ ‘labour’ and ‘neighbour.’ Likewise, you will learn to spell ‘doughnut’ without skipping half the letters, and the suffix ‘-ize’ will be replaced by the suffix ‘-ise.’ Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up ‘vocabulary’).

2. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as ”like’ and ‘you know’ is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as U.S. English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take into account the reinstated letter ‘u” and the elimination of ‘-ize.’

3. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.

4. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you’re not quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be used for shooting grouse. If you can’t sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist, then you’re not ready to shoot grouse.

5. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. Although a permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

6. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left side with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.

7. The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline) of roughly $10/US gallon. Get used to it.

8. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.

9. The cold, tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. South African beer is also acceptable, as they are pound for pound the greatest sporting nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer. They are also part of the British Commonwealth – see what it did for them. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat’s Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.

10. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialogue in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one’s ears removed with a cheese grater.

11. You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind of proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies).

12. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside ofAmerica. Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the South Africans first to take the sting out of their deliveries.

13. You must tell us who killed JFK. It’s been driving us mad.

14. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty’s Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776).

15. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 p.m. with proper cups, with saucers, and never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus strawberries (with cream) when in season.

God Save the Queen!

PS: Only share this with friends who have a good sense of humour (NOT humor)!

Queen Elizabeth

Facebook Badges – Like Pages

Sunday, March 18th, 2012

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I’m a Published Author!

Sunday, January 15th, 2012

Not in a book, but I have an article in an magizine devoted to Science Fiction and Fantasy that people check into to that is internet only.

Otherworld Gezette is filled with book, movie and other types of reviews. A friend, David F, has been a contributor there for quite awhile, and has been pestering me to write up a report on SOMETHING.

I finished reading a book, and off-handidly mentioned to David maybe I should write up that review he’d been pestering me about, and he said, yes, I should, and directed me to Google Docs as the editor used that program a lot easier for for editing.

I produced a half page review of Donita Paul’s Dragon Spell, Book 1 of a series of books. I can’t wait to read the rest of them. That was two days ago, and David just informed me that my review was up on the site, here at: http://www.otherwheregazette.com/2012/01/15/pauls-dragonspell-an-interesting-and-engaging-fantasy/

Wow. A published author. I don’t know if I can handle it.

Games? NOT!

Monday, April 19th, 2010

On Facebook, there are a lot of games that I play. A lot of these games got me introduced to the friends I have over there. One of the ones that I am most addicted to, Mafia Wars, also has groups, Mafias, of which I am a member of one, Road to Respect.

I’ve been a member of [RTR] almost from the beginning. The group had an Admin Team consisting of the Godfather, Godmother, various other people, and a “gifting” person, who would hold all the items that people would give her or that she would find and “gift” them out to the members of the group.

I had connections with another Mafia Wars player, and was able to get from Rebel, for one piece of Loot, 200 pieces of a really nice weapon. I would gift these weapons to the gifting person, Susan Bishop. Well, others would do so as well, and she was supposed to give them to our fighters to help them win fights and become strong so we wouldn’t have bullies bothering our non-fighters.Susan didn’t do that. She took all this loot and just laughed at us when she was finally asked for it. She merrily went on her way, and basically screwed us all over. I took up the job of gifting angel with gusto… Marwan said he couldn’t make me an admin because of the WoMW, which I quit. Then I heard nothing from him.And then, we had a new godfather, and any promises went out the window. I feel like I’ve been royally screwed.This happened over the last few months. Now we get to the last few weeks.Several of the RTR admin break off and start their own group after Marwan leaves. I am thinking of quitting RTR and joining this new group, and I post a message on the RTR message board expressing these concerns. I leave email for Karen Duke that I want to chat with her, and the next day Karen and I chat and she says she promised Rob (the Godfather of RTR) that she wouldn’t take any members from RTR into her new group.

I then receive an email from Rob telling me that if I have doubts about staying in RTR that I should just leave. Not an email asking me what’s wrong, and is there anyway that he can help, but if I have doubts, that I need to leave.What kind of person, not to mention the leader of a large group of people (RTR has over 3000 members) doesn’t ask questions, just tells you to leave without asking what’s wrong and why are you thinking of leaving a group you’ve been a member of for over a year? My doubts about staying in RTR are about double now, but I don’t want to leave a group where I have friends, and that if I posted this to the message board, it’d get erased, and I’d find myself out of RTR. Yes, I’m not sure I want to stay there, but I want it to be MY decision, not the decision of a Godfather with insecurities!!!

That’s also why I’m posting this here, instead of on Facebook. There’s not enough room to post something this long on Facebook, and I wanted to get my thoughts down and more organized.I’m so glad I found the blog that my webpage provider has – and this was AFTER I started my WordPress account… so yes, you will see me post about things on here relatively regularly… Facebook doesn’t have the room that I’ll need… I get really wordy at times.

Searching for the Blog!!!

Monday, April 19th, 2010

Sheesh! I restarted the blog, then couldn’t find the bookmark so I could add posts to it! I finally just sat down at the computer today, and typed in some word into Google Chrome and it came up! THAT was a shock! I’ve bookmarked it, and now I’m going to add this blog to my Facebook page, so I won’t lose it again! Ever! One of those fun things you deal with when you can’t remember stuff due to disability. Now that I’ve found the blog again, I’ll probably be posting on it several times a day, especially since I’ll have it linked to my Facebook page, which is pretty popular! <grin> Thanks to Mafia Wars and the other games I play. Facebook is great, It’s just not good for when you want to expand on something – a short blurb is fine, but not when you want to expound on something which I frequently want to do.