Archive for the ‘Internet’ Category

Queen Elizabeth proclaims new rules to US!

Wednesday, April 11th, 2012

This was posted to Facebook and there are many of my friends that are not on Facebook, so I thought I would share this. Thanks to Steve Hatton who shared RJ Renner’s photo of Queen Elizabeth II.

To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II

In light of your failure in recent years to nominate competent candidates for President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately.

(You should look up ‘revocation’ in the Oxford English Dictionary.)

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except Kansas, which she does not fancy).

Your new Prime Minister, David Cameron , will appoint a Governor for America without the need for further elections.

Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

1. The letter ‘U’ will be reinstated in words such as ‘colour,’ ‘favour,’ ‘labour’ and ‘neighbour.’ Likewise, you will learn to spell ‘doughnut’ without skipping half the letters, and the suffix ‘-ize’ will be replaced by the suffix ‘-ise.’ Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up ‘vocabulary’).

2. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as ”like’ and ‘you know’ is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as U.S. English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take into account the reinstated letter ‘u” and the elimination of ‘-ize.’

3. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.

4. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you’re not quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be used for shooting grouse. If you can’t sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist, then you’re not ready to shoot grouse.

5. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. Although a permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

6. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left side with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.

7. The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline) of roughly $10/US gallon. Get used to it.

8. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.

9. The cold, tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. South African beer is also acceptable, as they are pound for pound the greatest sporting nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer. They are also part of the British Commonwealth – see what it did for them. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat’s Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.

10. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialogue in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one’s ears removed with a cheese grater.

11. You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind of proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies).

12. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside ofAmerica. Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the South Africans first to take the sting out of their deliveries.

13. You must tell us who killed JFK. It’s been driving us mad.

14. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty’s Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776).

15. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 p.m. with proper cups, with saucers, and never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus strawberries (with cream) when in season.

God Save the Queen!

PS: Only share this with friends who have a good sense of humour (NOT humor)!

Queen Elizabeth

US Sues AT&T over Relay Service for the Hearing Impaired!

Tuesday, March 27th, 2012

Well, this is a new thing for me… talking about something out in the news. But, since it affects the disabled in some way, I figure it would be of some use. The US Government is suing AT&T for payments made to AT&T by the US Government for usage of their Relay service for the hearing and speech impaired. Each time a call goes out, there’s a payment that AT&T gets for usage of their lines that the government makes because they are complying with the law. However, it’s come to the government’s attention that the callers weren’t really disabled, but that they were Nigerians doing scamming and that they were using the free service to fasciliate those scams.

The way the Relay Service works is that a person calls a special number with a TDD and the Relay service calls the number that the disabled person wants to get in contact with and becomes the bridge between the voice call and the TDD. They do not edit what is said, they type exactly what is said on both sides. Type for one, talk for the other. It’s exacting work, and you have to be trained in it.

Now the US Government is saying that AT&T knew that the Relay service was being used by scammers and they want their money back that they paid AT&T. The volume of the calls rose 95% and were from out of the country. That’s a red flag right there.

PC Magazine reports that the government wants to service the disabled, but won’t tolerate scammers, and I wouldn’t either.

Let’s hope they can get back the $16 Million that the government paid AT&T. Unless and until AT&T can figure out how to (or actually DOES) screen the callers to make sure they really are disabled, I think the government is right to ask for its money back.

Facebook Badges – Like Pages

Sunday, March 18th, 2012

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Friday, February 11th, 2011

Dana Marshall | Create Your Badge

Yahoo Messenger and New Contacts

Wednesday, December 15th, 2010

I’ve been a user of Yahoo Messenger for years. I use it mostly to keep in touch with friends, and most recently for when I’m online playing games.

I am listed in the Yahoo Directory, and I’ve been getting invites by one type of person only. Those that insist on showing me sexually oriented material after I accept their request. Once I do that, they ask to chat, and then send me a link where there is porn. I don’t do porn. I don’t like porn, and wish it didn’t exist.

I don’t mind that others utilize porn, by reading it, or watching it. But, when you answer a friend request and then immediately send a link to a porn site, that is just.. wrong. When that is done, I immediately block the person, and report them to Yahoo. Sorry, but what you do on your time is fine, but imposing it on me without warning is not. A simple “Can I send you a link to a porn site?” would work wonders.

As such, the only people I talk to on Yahoo Messenger are those that are family or close friends that I have known for years. I much prefer Facebook for meeting people to chat with. Or be email pals with. I’ll be looking into how to take my name out of the Yahoo Directory. No matter how much I may think I could help someone with a disability… it’s just really sad that the people that have these porn sites have to trawl the Yahoo Directory and ask to be added to an unknown person’s list then once there, they send a link and dump that person into a porn site which is most likely not welcome and may be very offensive.

It’s too bad… I could use Yahoo to gain members to the Star Trek clubs that I run, the USS Daniel Soule, a chapter of Starfleet International, where I am the Commanding Officer, and the independent club, USS Constellation, where I am the Executive Officer, help people with disability and service dog questions and gain new friends. But, nope, I’m going to retreat to being a private member, and only use it to contact people that I know.

Changed Browsers

Thursday, November 25th, 2010

Changed browsers to IE. I’ve been avoiding IE for YEARS… don’t remember why. However, I finally got tired of Firefox’s popups when starting (errors), and Chrome would crash anywhere from 15-2 hours after I started it. Might be my messed up computer, as I need to reinstall Windows XP. I plan to do so, but it’ll be a major undertaking. I’m thinking of trying a repair first, then if that doesn’t work, a full clean install.

Anyway, got tired of Chrome’s crashing after having decided to switch to it… even though it lacks toolbars, and many things that Firefox has. Brought up IE, and imagine my surprise when it has toolbars, and a lot of features of Firefox, but without the errors. And the interface is crisp and clear.

I’m not a Microsoft hater, far from it. Many of my friends work for Microsoft. I use Microsoft products every day… Office 1997, Windows XP, Windows Vista. I just erroniously thought IE was a bit overbearing… guess I was wrong. Well, I can’t be right all the time.

One thing I do NOT like about IE, there’s no way to add Google to the search function. It uses Yahoo. Grr. Oh, well, I guess I’ll get used to it.

I know It’s Been AWhile

Friday, October 1st, 2010

I haven’t been feeling well, and when I don’t feel good, I don’t do things, like my blog or even get on Facebook. I haven’t even been playing any of the games that I do on Facebook, or taking care of the USS Constellation, the club where I’m the Executive Officer.

I have several updates though, so keep watch on this space, as I’ll be adding posts over the next few days. First on this list, is an update on the new motorized wheelchair.

Changes to the blog

Saturday, August 28th, 2010

You’ll notice there’s been a change to the theme (background) to the the blog. I thought the other one was a bit too busy, and this one is much easier on the eyes. So, a new look for Hire the Handicapped. I really like the look of the new theme. Much cleaner.

If you have an opinion to the way this blog looks, please leave a comment.

Gotta love Scammers

Thursday, June 3rd, 2010

They have the balls no other people have!

I received the following email in my webmaster account this AM:

FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION (FBI).
WASHINGTON D.C ROOM, 7367
J. EDGAR HOOVER FBI BUILDING
935 PENNSYLVANIA AVENUE,
NW WASHINGTON, DC 20535.

ATTENTION:

RE: FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION SEEKING TO WIRETAP THE INTERNET

The Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) Washington, DC in conjunction with some other relevant Investigation Agencies in the United States of America have recently been informed through our global intelligence monitoring network that you presently have a transaction pending and you have been sending payments to Nigeria.

You are hereby ordered to stop every communication with this person(s) so we can help you process your funds and you can receive your money without any further delay. As from this moment, we are monitoring every mail you send. As time goes on we might need certain information from you regarding to this person(s) so we can track them down and put an end to their unholy acts.

Furthermore, you are required to forward to us your EMAIL ADDRESS/PASSWORD and your TELEPHONE so a Scam-Email Protector can be installed in your email box at no cost. To stop these unscrupulous elements from reaching you and many others.

You are strongly warned to desist from communicating with this person(s) henceforth. Do NOT comply with this person(s) in Nigeria to avoid losing your hard-earned money. Be WARNED. You are being tracked. As soon as we are convinced that you are dealing with these scammers, even after this email, you will be picked up for aiding and abetting scam.

Do not worry about your fund. In the next couple of days, we will reach you and guide you on how you can receive your fund through the Legitimate Offices and Procedures.

Send your EMAIL ADDRESS/PASSWORD to AGENT LARRY SIMMSONS now at: agtlarrysimmsons1@gmail.com

He will oversee the installation of the SCAM EMAIL PROTECTOR in your EMAIL BOX at NO COST. He will also advise/guide you on the legitimate procedures to get your fund.

DO NOT FORWARD OUR CORRESPONDENCE WITH YOU TO ANY FRAUDSTER, WE ARE MONITORING YOU, IF YOU DO, YOU WILL BE DULY PROSECUTED AS THE LAW DEMANDS. DO NOT FEIGN IGNORANCE, YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

We earnestly await your urgent response to this matter.

Best Regards,
Mary Callaghan
Federal Bureau of Investigation.

The balls on this individual. To take on the FBI! They are well aware of it! They just told me to delete it, and not to act on it… yeah, well, I told the person on the phone, I’d been on the Internet for 20 years, I wasn’t going to act on it, and it looked official, until you got to the gmail address of the agent. THAT was the giveaway. THAT and the fact that I HAVE NOT been sending money to Nigeria… the absolute balls on these scammers. I don’t play those types of games, not at all.

I hope the REAL FBI finds them and locks them away for years and years.